I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
