we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
