i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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