so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
