we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
