i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
