There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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