toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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