So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize