it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
