He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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