I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
