it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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