aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
