oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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