It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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