Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
