Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
