Me too!
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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