Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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