if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
