Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
third nipple confirmed
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
