Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
