great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
