you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
