it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
