yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
