I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
