god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
