HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
