ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
