sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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