he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
