some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
did you just send me my own nude
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
