this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
