Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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