THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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