dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
