your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
