I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
