I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
