There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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