3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
