I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
