you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
