i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
