I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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