I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
