i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
