Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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