You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
