I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
