cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
