Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
