The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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