Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
