I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
sex in a hospital.. check
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
