Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize