Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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