I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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