Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
