Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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