Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
