I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
