i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
