WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
