Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
