I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
