what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
