he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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