Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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