ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
