How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
operation have a gay friend backfired
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize