ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We just shotgunned beers for America
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
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