What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
