I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
