Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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