worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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