Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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