Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
