we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
