didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
