eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I wish you could order shots online.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
