Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
