Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize